Capo de tutti Capi

Just before leaving Sorrento we met this lady selling fireworks on the main street. She told us that Christmas and New Year were busy times but they do not celebrate Hallowee'en. She said she worked for a member of the Mafia who contolled all firework sales in this part of Italy. His name is Angusto Capistiki and he is the Capo de tutti Capistikis. She is forced to work every day and must turn over all her money to him or he will punish her by making her listen to stories about the time he visited Coronation Street. " Is a hard wurk ba itsa beta than a lissen to data bullsheet from dat bigga basta Angusto."

In the afternoon we travelled to Bari on the Adriatic and caught the overnight ferry to Patras, Greece. The Greeks would win gold if smoking was an Olympic sport. The ship was supposed to be smoke-free but the truckers smoked in the washrooms and in the bedrooms. You could not get away from it.
We docked around noon the next day and drove to Olympia which is a ghost town this time of year. Only half the shops and restaurants are open but those that are allow you to negotiate a price. Merchants stand outside and drag you into their place of business. If you leave without buying anything they start to cry and threaten to commit suicide. The greatest salesmen since Jack Yazer!

Aussie lessons:
He's my friend.

NZ - "Hees ma frind"
Aus - 'Hees ma mate."
Dave - "He's me buddy."

When do we eat?

NZ - " When do we eight?"
Aus - "When's Tucca?"
Dave - " I'm f***in' near starved?"

McDonalds

NZ - " Mick Dunills"
Aus - " Makkas"
Dave - "Mickey D's"

Amalfi Rollercoaster

We had a day off today and the sun shone for the first time since I left home in November!!! Rick Steeves highly recommends the Amalfi Coast so we teamed up with Paul and Debby MacSweeney from Australia, hopped on the local bus ( 7 Euro return) and headed for the coast. It took an hour and a half to do the 35km from Serrento to Amalfi and we arrived trembling after the drive of a lifetime. The road is carved out of the cliffs and is so narrow we often had to stop to let cars pass. The bus came so close to the edge you had the sensation you were flying because you could only see ocean below you.
Amalfi is a tourist town and has the shops and restaurants to prove it. We asked a taxi driver to recommend a good restaurant and he sent us up the hill to a back street tratorria. Here is a photo of the two Debbies with
the taxi driver and another of Paul and me with the tratorria owner. I think we were had? The food was good and the banter from the owner/waiter/chef was entertaining. He even gave us a free shot of Lemoncello, the local hootch, which is made from lemons ( duh!) and is very strong.
I am learing to talk like an Aussie or, as they would say, "I am turning Aucca." There are also some people from New Zealand on the tour and I am mixing things up. Here are a few Aussie words:

Mooch -to roam idly about - ex- "I think we will just mooch around town today."
Bludger - a lazy good for nothing, welfare scamming bum

How do you say?

He left

NZ - " He lift."
Aus - " He's gone walkabout."
Dave - " He f***ed off."

Tourn a Sorrento

Greetinga from Sorrento on the beautiful Amalfi Coast of Italy. This is what Europe is all about! Beautiful city- amazing scenery - great wine and food. The city is decorated for Christmas and the people come out to walk the streets in the evening. On the way to supper we stopped in the main square to watch an honest to God Punch and Judy show!! the third photo shows the road we had to follow to get here. makes the Cabot Trail look a little tame.

Doc Campbell Moment:
On the way to Sorrento we stopped at Pompeii. Here is a shot of me at the Forum. The second photo is a plaster cast of one of the victims of the eruption - please see page 345 of your Grade 10 History text for a copy of this picture.
The city is immense with only a tiny portion excavated but that portion is amazing. The state of developemnt - running water, sewer system, shops, restaurants etc is mind boggling. The guide told us about the city's obsession with sex and the number of pleasure houses that were available to address it. I will post some photos when the kids are asleep.


We passed Montecasio on the way. This was especially poingnant for Debby as her father served in this area during the war. The CB Highlanders were close to here during the famous battle in February 1944. They were withdrawn from Italy after D-Day and redeployed to Holland. Hennie was wounded in Italy and was sent to England . He rejoined the batallion in Holland where he was again wounded.

Here is a shot of Debby, God love here, doing one of her favourite things, laundry!

More fun with Americans:
Guide - "WE are now travelling on an original Roman road."
Amer. - "My goodness, the asphalt has held up well."

Random Shots

Roma

FIRST LET ME WISH EVERYONE A MERY CHRISTMAS.Arrived in Rome around 5pm and hopped a taxi for the Vatican. I had secured an invitation to Midnight Mass and had to be there before 7pm to get my tickets. I was escorted into the Swiss Guards office by a nice young seminarian from Indianapolis and received my tickets. We were then escorted back to THE HEAD OF THE LINE!!
We were in line from 6 to 8:30when the doors finally opened. Heavy rain fell until about 7:30 but the seminarians came prepared with food and Christmas Carol sheets. The singing was beautiful as it spread around the square and echoed off St. Peters. It was goose bump time.
When the gates opened there was a mad dash for the doors but first you had to pass through security which involved a metal dectector and a guard yelled "Piano! Piano!" I wasn't sure if he was security or a busker but we passed through and got to sit IN THE SECOND ROW!!!!! I must qualify this. We sat in the second row of the unscrubbed masses, immediately behind the Bishops and Cardinals and other hoi piloy. Mass was in a combination of Italian and Latin with some other languages thrown in. We were among the first to receive Holy Communion but not from the Pope. When mass was over there was a mad dash in the other direction for cabs. The enterprising Roman cabbies had a bidding war going with fares running as high as 50 euro for a normal 10 euro ride.

On Christmas Day we had a tour of the city......................

Doc Campbell Moment - there I am at the Colleseum! We also visited the Forum and the Circus Maximus. At the Forum I spotted a statue of Romulus and Remis so is this a Helen Fraser Moment?

The morning ended with a trip back to St Peters for a Papal Blessing. The beggars were out in force as were the rosary and medal sellers. I bought a 100,000 year Plenary Indulgence for my friend Greg Campbell for 5 euro. I could have gotten him a million for 10 but I think he needs to pay for some of those emails he sends.


We went to a restaurant for a wonderful Italian Christmas Lunch. No turkey but lots of pasta and wine. They don't decorate homes here, just the shopping areas and they put Christmas trees in parks and public squares.Tomorrow we head for Pompeii which will be 12 items I will have knocked off the list. Only the Acropolis remains and I hope to get there next week.

More fun with Americans:"After St Peters can we go to the Vatican?"

DOC CAMPBELL DAY!!!

Left Nice and made a n evening visit to Pisa. Bad weather and traffic delayed us so we had to view the sights in the twilight. Spent the night in Monticantini and went on to Florence in the morning for a Doc Campbell Phantazamagoria. Saw Giotto's Tower, The Duomo, The Bapistry and the Doors to Paradise. Threw in The Cathedral de Sacre Croce where DiVinci, Galleleo, Dante, Michelangelo and countless others are buried. Next The Ufetzi Gallery and the Pont de Vecchio. Our guide was wonderful and was moved to tears when describing some of the treasures of Florence. The areas around these treasures are still open to vehicle traffic so you take your life in your hands at times. There are also beggars and pickpockets trying to get their Christmas money.
There just wasn't enough time to see everything so it will go on my list of places to visit again.

Nice was nice

We left Barcelona in a pouring rain heading for the French Riviera with a stop in the city of Arles on the banks of the Rhone. The guide said Vincent Van Gogh had lived here for many years and took inspiration from the town and the surrounding countryside. I am not a Van Gogh expert but I don't recall seeing dog shit, grafitti, litter and garbage in any of his paintings. Arles is without question the filthiest place I have ever seen. I know old Vince was a little on the crazy side but we can only hope that things were better in his day.
We arrived in Nice in the evening and headed for Monaco for a visit to the royal palace and the casino in Monte Carlo. That's me next to the James Bond special Astin Martin. The whole place smells of money with super yachts and private jets everywhere. Rolls and Bentleys galore.
At the Casino we wnet to the Cafe de Paris for a drink. I asked for a vodka martini, shaken but not stirred. When the waiter asked for 19 Euro I was shaken and my bowels stirred.



More fun with Americans:" Is the French Riviera on the Mesopotamian?"
" Was Princess Grace the Queen?"
" When will we see the Tower of Pizza?"

Hola! From Barcelona

My luck continues at its usual level with heavy rain all day. But it is much warmer here than in England. We are staying at a nice hotel on La Rambla, Barcelona's version of the Champs Elysses. Our guides have warned us that this is the European capital of the pickpocket industry and we should exercise extreme caution. Debby is very worried that if these warnings continue the poor pickpockets will have no money for Christmas!! Did a little shopping but it is expensive. The booze, however, is another story. We bought a litre of wine today for 90 cents and believe me, I have tasted worse.


We visited the Cathedral de la Sagrada Familia on our city tour today. What a magnificent structure. Unique in all of Europe, it defies classification. It was designed by the Catalan architect, Antoni Goudi, and its style is simply explained as "Gaudi."
Even with its sometimes bizarre design, it honours religious symbols through its numerous sculptures on both the interior and exterior. The old Doc would be proud of me today.

There is a tradition in Catalonia that all nativity scenes contain a figure "doing poopie" as they say here. Apparently this signifies that the guest has been well fed and feels comfortable in the home. Here is a shot of me practising for next time I visit Michele Vokey. If I did this I would't be the only one having a shit fit!
Early start tomorrow - back to France.

Paris-Bordeaux-Barcelona

Left Paris on Sunday morning in a snowstorm. Counted over 300 trucks abandoned on the highway. A hour outside the city there was no snow! Toured the Loire Valley and the city of Tours ( Joan of Arc country) and stopped for the night in Bordeaux. Disappointed that we didn't get to spend more time here in wine country.
We stopped for lunch at a toll plaza and I got to talk with one of the toll workers. I asked him if anyone ever sped through without paying.

" Oh, oui, monsieur. I rhemembourh one time a men he go tru vurry fas, but he is honest and come back. I tink maybe he was like you from Canada."

"Do you remember his name?"
"But hovcorse! You don soon forget a ting like that. 'ees name was Raymond."

" And his last name?"

" It was a French name, ' de la Baie' 'ees name was Raymond de la baie."

Ray certainly makes an impression wherever he goes.

We were up bright and early on Monday heading for Barcelona with a stop at the medieval walled town of Carcossonne where we enjoyed a mulled wine in front of a warm fire.

We arrived in Barcelona at suppertime and were met by tempertures in the high teens! We have gone from snow to shirt sleeves in just 48 hours. Tomorrow we get a tour of the city.

Fun with Americans:
The following questions were asked in the last two days"When do we get to Bordux?"

" Can we get good Mexican food in Spain?"

" Will we see flamingos dancing in Spain?"

Amer. " Why did they bury people in tombs above ground?"

Guide- " Because they were dead."

NOTE TO MEGAN CAPSTICK - I finally found a Bidet!

London to Paris

Part II of the great European Adventure began on Friday, Dec 17 when we met the rest of our group in London before we departed for Paris. The group is 33 strong, mostly Australians with a few Americans and Japanese thrown in. Deborah and I are the only Canadians. The first leg of the trip involved a coach ride to Dover where we caught the ferry to Calais where we were met by a European coach with the steering wheel on the correct side.
The Auzzies are lots of fun, they just want to know when we are stopping for a beah. The yanks want to know when we will see the Eye Full Tower, The Loovrah, and when they will be able to get real French Fries now that we are in France. The Japanese, well they just want to take pictures! One guy had taken 300 by the time we got to Dover; sixty of the bus alone! I must invite them for a beer-yes, wine-yes and ask them if they know my friends Suzuki and Kawasaki that I met at Mont St Michel.
We arrived in France in yet another snow storm and were late getting into Paris. The guide felt we could not visit Paris without attending a real Paris Cabaret so we were connned into signing up for the show at the LIDO, one of the country's leading cabarets apparently. We were promised a titilating performance and a cunning array of stunts. What we got was the tit part but little else. What passed for dancing was mainly women in extravagent costumes walking around the stage to pre-recorded music with the occasional lip sync. There was a juggler of sorts and a guy dressed like a statue. Then a comedian came on and said "quack" and "caput" a lot and the people laughed.????????????????? I had to remind myself that France awarded the Legion D'honeur to Jerry Lewis because they felt he was a comic genius. I guess that explains it. The whole show was a cross between a bad cruise ship revue and the shows your sister used to give in the basement on rainy summer afternoons. If you ever get to Paris, stay far away from the cabaret shows!
On Saturday we had a tour of the city and saw the requsite ferris wheel. The saleman for the wheel company must be good, there is one in every city I have visited. Of course we went to the Eye Full Tower, that's me in the Eiffel Tower hat. We spent a few hours at the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa. Now that was an experience; not so much for the picture but for the pushing and shoving that goes on to get close to it.
The tour ended with a visit to Notre Dame de Paris, which, like Dublin, has almost as many panhandlers are Spring Garden Road.

Doc Campbell Moment #1 - the third photo shows the flying buttresses of Notre Dame
Doc Campbell Moment #2- The bottom photo is Winged Victory of Samathrase. Those of you who went to Sydney Academy will know that there was a copy in the library...at least the three of you who went to the library will know that.Deborah and I spent the rest of the day roaming the Christmas Market and the shops of the Champs Elysees. We had been warned repeatedly to avoid beggers, tramps, gypsies and other con artists who will try to rob you or rip you off. This has created an atmosphere of mistrust where nobody talks to anyone anymore. This is really bothering Deborah because she would love to invite all of these people home for supper. So she is left with nothing to do but help the guide count heads to ensure everyone is on the bus and then seeing to it that no one sits or eats alone. This will have to do for now.
Our luck continues to hold as we spent the whole day in bitter cold and ended with a heavy snow fall. Tomorrow we head south for warmer weather...we hope.

LATE BREAKING NEWS

Deborah has arrived safe and sound and just two days late.She had to drive to Halifax and was redirected to Montreal and then that flight was delayed but she finally got here around 8:30am London time. She is tired but happy to be here. We are off to the National Ballet this afternoon to see The Nutcracker. Our tickets were for yesterday but they were kind enough to change them for me after a sob story and 6 pounds penalty.
She was quite excited to hear about me sitting with Liam from Corrie on the flight from Dublin. Turns out it was NOT LIAM BUT KIERAN I was sitting with!!!! Now aren't I just the arsehole! Megan and Angus will surely be disappointed with me. Thank God I didn't call him by the wrong character's name
Raining and cold here today with snow predicted for tomorrow. The coach tour starts in the morning when we head for Paris.

Later that day:
Back from Nutcracker. It was enjoyable with wonderful dancing and music. It is now snowing in London!

More Things That Caught My Eye

Day 17-18 - London

 Started the day with a visit to Stratford-upon-Avon, home of the Bard. I was amazed that the original home is still standing. The home is on the town's main street where there is a welcome centre called "The Shakesperience," I detect a Disneyesque influence. The most interesting part was that one of the guides could recite any speech from Shakespeare upon request! I requested Marc Antony's " friends, Romans... and off he went in full flight. Yes, Deborah, I tipped him.
Stratford is also the home of a gentleman who emigrated to America, became wealthy and endowed a university in Boston. His name is John Harvard. There is no Harvariety welcome centre.

The next stop was Oxford. The tour guide asked, "Does anyone know what Oxford is famous for?" Duh! Gimme a break. " Inspector Morse," I said. The guide replied, " well, yes, but is there anything else? A university maybe." I love screwing with people.

DOC CAMPBELL MOMENT - at Christ Church, Oxford, the guide pointed out a building that contained Doric,Ionic and Corinthian columns with a Tuscan thrown in. The second photo shows them all, albeit not too clearly as it was getting dark. I will try to fix this up later.
The days are very short here. I didn't realize just how far north England is. It doesn't get light until around 8am and starts to get dark at 3:30.

I got back into town in time to take in a performance of War Horse, a play based on the novel of the same name. It is the story of a boy whose horse, Joey, is sold to the army in WWI. The boy enlists and is sent to France where he tries to find Joey. Because I was late getting a ticket I had to sit in the second row where I found myself in a German trench in the middle of the action. The horses were life size puppets operated by three men and were very real. There were times I was nearly kicked in the head. I would highly reccommend this play...but don't sit so close.

Deborah has still not arrived. Bad weather has delayed her flight for two days so she is driving to Halifax today and should arrive tomorrow, Thursday. The coach tour starts Friday so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Day 15-16 - London

Did the National Gallery on Saturday - Michelangelo, diVinci, Rubins, Picasso, Rembrant, Constable and on and on ... but still no... enough of that joke. After so many art galleries and I am Madonna & Chiled out! Saw two shows, Pricilla,Queen of the Desert in the afternoon and Yes,Prime Minister in the evening. Pricilla was an over the top tale about Australian female impersonators travelling across the country to put on a show in Alice Springs. It is based on the movie of the same name. It was great fun, especially listening to the three Cockney couples behind me.
"Cor, blimey, 'ees a fella! I'm goint baw! Fetch me end a show."
Yes, PM was excellent, having been written by the same people who did the TV series.

After the show the theater district was invaded by hundreds of Santas. I never did get the story but someone said that it was university students, not tired out from protesting, trying to get in the Guiness Book of Records for the most Santas. Trafalgar Square was overrun by them earlier in the evening.
On Sunday I went to the Victoria & Albert Museum in memory of my late friend Jim Attwood who called the V&A his favourite place to visit in London. It was interesting but just too much stuff! The top photo shows two Davids, one a fake and the other a statue...and only one of them is anatomically correct.
Spent the afternoon at the Imperial War Museum in Lambeth. There is an excellent reproduction of a WWI trench complete with smells and sounds, and on the WWII side there is the Blitz Experience. Two very moving exhibits were Children in War explaining about the lives of English children during WWII, and the UK Holocaust Memorial. The Holocaust section covers two floors and traces the rise of antisemiticsm following WWI. It was moving and very disturbing- so much so it is restricted to visitors over the age of 14.
Had an enjoyable evening washing out my socks and undies - Guaranteed to Dry Overnight or your Monry Back! And yes they do actually dry, especially if you put them on the radiator. Watched a Corrie 50th Quiz Show - David Plath is very bright - Ken Barlow is as stupid as a stick! Entertainment was provided by cast members. Michele and Natasha can sing up a storm and so can Liam. I still don't have it straight if he died or not.
I always said I would go to Oxford one day...tomorrow.