Closing Comments

It has been seven weeks since I left home. I have travelled over 12,000 KM, not including the flight over, and have visited 14 countries. I was away from home at Christmas for the first time in my life and was alone for nearly three weeks.

HIGHLIGHT REEL

Favourite City - Vienna - beautiful buildings, great food,music and history. Best Christmas decorations.

Favourite Site - Cathedral de la Sagra Familia, Barcelona. Absolutely magnificent. New wonder of the world.

Least Favourite City - Arles, France. Dirty shithole not worth visiting.

Weirdest Name for Something - In Germany they call a cel phone a "handy." I guess it is better than the suggested name, " textinappinsurfintweetinmusicincameraspunkinfone."

Favourite Museum - National Portrait Gallery, London

Most Inspiring Moment - being alone at Vimy Ridge

Most Satisfyting Moment - getting to Hadrian's Wall following a snowstorm.

Most Awe Inspiring Moment - Midnight Mass at the Vatican on Christmas Eve

Funniest Moment - walking through the streets of Carlisle,England at 5am with a broken suitcase wheel going "clak-clak-clak" on the cobbles and thinking that if Debby was with me she would make me carry it so I wouldn't wake anyone.

Scariest Moment - arriving in Cherbourg, France during a raging snowstorm and having to walk 3km to the ferry terminal

Saddest moment - sitting with our new Aussie friends as they received news that their homes were flooded

Best Event Attended - toss-up - Handel's Messiah in Dublin and War Horse in London

Worst Event Attended - Paris Cabaret - two hours of my life that I will never get back

Biggest Disappointment - getting to Pisa in the dark.

STAY TUNED FOR MY NEXT ADVENTURE  - EASTERN EUROPE - VIENNA TO SOPHIA

The Netherlands

Our trip through Germany was uneventful, which means that it rained so much all events were cancelled. The Rhine and The Rhur have flooded their banks so our cruise was cancelled. This got us to Cologne earlier than expected so I was able to cop a Doc Campbell extra, the Cologne Cathedral.
Early next day we were off to Amsterdam for our penultimate night on the road. Amsterdam is an interesting city, legal weed and hookers aside. After a city tour we visited the Ann Frank Museum and the apartment where she hid with her family for over two years. It was a moving exhibit.
Tomorrow we head for London and then home on Thursday.

My Malaysian friend, Emily, was at it again today taking pictures of obsure things, this time sugar packets! I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer so I asked her why?
" Shu-ga no cum pajik my cunry, shu-ga cum in bow."

Not to be left out, South African Chris gave me a laugh today too. There is a cold going through the bus and yesterday was Chris's turn. Debby gave him a bottle of stuff to gargle and gave explicit instructions to gargle, spit, repeat as required. In the morning he couldn't eat his breakfast:
" I dhrilnk the whole boddle and now tummy dickie, yes, yes, dickie , dickie plus sore throat by golly."


Unfortunately the trip is ending on a sad note as news arrives regularly to members of the group regarding the floods in Australia. One person has lost her house while two others are damaged. One Aussie's parents, in their 90s, have been evacuated from their home. There are no guarantees that they will be able to get to their homes once they get back to Aus, some will go with friends, others may have to go to rescue centers. The stress level is elevated. A piss up is in order!

Innsbruck to Luzcern

We spent a day in the Olympic city, Innsbruck, Austria. On the way we visited the Swarovski factory outlet. Innsbruck is an interesting place with a major focus on winter sports.
On the way to Switzerland we stopped for lunch in Vaduz, Lectenstein, another small, independent country whose main industry is tax evasion. Like San Marino the place is crawling with Russian neveau riche, the new instant billionaires who have discovered capitalism, self indulgence, and Rolex but are yet to discover deorderant.
We spent two nights in Lake Luzcern, a beautiful lakeside city high in the Tyrolian Alps, where the main industry is wrist watches. I priced a Rolex and an Omega then settled for a Timex. At $88,000 a Rolex should be able to cook and clean in addition to telling time.
Next we visited Mount Titlis, honest to God, Titlis! It is a ski resort a few miles out of town where the beautiful
people go to be seen. To get to the top you must travel on three seperate cable cars, the third of which rotates!
The top is a dizzing 10,000feet.
Our last stop is Amsterdam then we head for London for a flight home on Thursday.


Americans again:

There is an American lady in our group who never ceases to entertain me. She has travelled extensively but
you would never know it. She complained that postage was so expensive in Europe, she brought her own stamps from home. When we were in Paris the guide explained that the Arc d' Triompe serves as the Tomb
of the Unknown Soldier and that the French Army conducts a service there every evening at 6. My American
friend remarked at this that "his family must be so proud!"

Salzberg

Did the Sound of Music thing in Salzberg. here is a shot of Debby on the balcony of a converted stable which doubled as the van Trapp mansion in the movie. Here is a closer shot of Debby's new hat; more correctly, her only hat, which she finally bought after 25 years of looking.
Got to use my "dirty line from The Sound of Music" story much to Debby chagrin. Those of you who haven't heard it should rent the movie and go to the scene where Julie Anrews returns to the convent and has a discussion with the Mother Superior about her unhappiness. Listen carefully. The accents make it a wonderful moment. I am not permitted to reproduce it here as My Love will want to see my postings tomorrow.
We visited the Swarovski Crystal factory store today and bought a few trinkets then continued on to Innsbruck. Switzerland tomorrow - on the home stretch.

Doc's Dozen + One

I have let the Aussies know about my list which they refer to as " Dive's Bucket Least" and they celebrated with me in venice when I reached the end. Let's review:

1. British Museum - I visited here on my trip last year and saw the Elgin Marbles and the Rosetta Stone.
2. Westminister Abbey - got here a number of years ago and visited Poet's Corner.
3. Hadrian's Wall - without question the most difficult site to get to on this adventure because of snowstorms and cancelled trains and busses. The day I got there I had the place to myself and hiked a section in accordance with Doc's instructions.
4. Stonehenge - did this a number of years ago but didn't get close to the actual stones because some of our American friends decided they were a good spot to spray paint their "tags." The site is now restricted for all of us. Thanks guys.
5. Mont St Michel - off the beaten path but could be combined with a visit to D-Day beaches. Had a good time here with a group of Japanese tourists and attended mass with the monks.
6. Hampton Court Palace maze - got here several years ago and met a guy from Texas who was also following a list from a high school history teacher.
7. Florence - great place. Will definitely make another visit here so I can spend more time and visit more of the buildings.
8. Venice - made it here this week. Venice is overrun with tourists and was glad I came in the off-season. Doges Palace under repairs but still a great site.
9. Rome - Colleseum and Forum done. Still lots more to see.
10. Pompeii - massive dig still ongoing but lots to see.
11. Acropolis - got into a discussion with the tour guide on the topic of the return of the Elgin Marbles from the British Museum. Athens now has a proper Acropolis Museum so the Brits should get off their collective arses and send them back where they belong.
12. The Louvre - say the Mona Lisa, got pushed and shoved in the process. Much  better things to see there. Winged Victory was a highlight. Hello to Mrs. Ferguson from the SA Library.( She actually died a few years ago in Seaview manor in Glace Bay)
13. LaCourbusier - the street leading from the Lille Europe train station is Rue de le Courbusier. As you get to the business district you come to a building known as Le Residence de le Courbusier. This was a complete accident.

I still have a week to go on this adventure and will continue to update the blog until Jan 14. Any suggestions for a second list would be appreciated.

More Signs That Caught My Eye

Let's Pick on Someone Else

I am getting tired of making fun of the Yanks and Aussies so let me introduce you to two other members of the group.
First there is Emily from Malaysia. Emily, or Emery, as she would say, is late for everything and has made the whole bus late by missing meeting times. This is caused by her obsession with taking photos and videos. She is constantly taking videos from the bus as we pass everything from the Alps to a shit wagon. Off the bus I have seen her photograph post cards, a display of napkins, cigarette and candy displays and she has even taken shots in the bathrooms. My favourite was at the Colleseum in Rome when another bus tour lined up for a group shot, there was Emily taking a photo of them.
She has the habit of thrusting a camera into your hand and yelling, " Kweek, tek peecha me, free, fo time." She doesn't even say " preeze."

The second person is Chris from South Africa. As you can see from the photo, he dresses for the cold. What makes this shot really strange is that it was +10 the day I took it. Chris speaks Afrikaans and his English is spotty, especially in the comprehension department. I said to him:
"Are you cold, Chris?"
" Culd, yes culd, not wom, not wom, culd, culd,culd. Do you have chuklate in Amerika?"
" I am from Canada?"
" Yes, yes, yes, Canada yes. Hockey. Culd, culd. Ha Ha Ha. Santa Klaws is comink to town."
" Christmas was two weeks ago, Chris."
" Yes, yes. Two veeks. Here too. Culd, culd. Brikfist seven, bags out afta."

Vienna

I just had to post this photo of Venice. We boarded the water taxi for the trip across the lagoon just as the sun was setting in a magnificent display of colour. The perfect end to a wonderful day.
Early the next morning we were off to Vienna where we attended a Mozart/Strauss concert at the Kersolin. The program featured selections from Mozart as well as wattzes and polkas from all members of the Strauss family. There was a ballrom dance demo as well as numbers from a seprano ( singer, not gangster) and a tenor.
On Thursday we did a city tour. I had a eerie feeling standing before the balcony where Hitler announced the annexation of Austria in the days leading up to WWII. Some members of the group left to attend a presentation by the Lipper...Lippener... Leapp.........those white horses from the Disney movie. I asked about the Vienna Boys Choir and was advised that concerts are held on Sunday evenings. This is definitely a city we will come back to.
In the evening we went to Gumpelbrindercouchinkirkensteinenslaussen for an authentic Austrian meal at a wine tavern where we were entertained ( to a degree) by an accordion player. I think his name was Olie Olayhewho.

The creation of the European Union has made travelling in Europe much easier. There is a common currency in 26 countries and no border checks, until you come to Germany, where their lust for rules and efficiency make for an interesting time:

Germany
Officer - "Plez to be presneting your pazzport."
I oblige.
" You are Osstrailyung, no?"
"No."
"Vas? Zis bus is being fool of Osstrailyungs. Ach, yes, you are Canadian, no?
" No, I am Canadian, yes."
"Ach, you are being mit me the schmart arrrse. Soon you will be to your bus vaving good-bye mitout one schmart arrrse on bort!"

In Ireland it was a different story:
Ireland
Officer - " Now boyo, it says you are Canadian. This ice and snow must make you homesick."
"No, not really."
"Okay, boyo, tirist or terist?"
" Pardon?"
" Whudya here fer boyo, terism or tirism?"
" Um... what's the difference?"
" Terist carry a camera, tirist carry a bom."
" Terist."
"No boms then?"
" No."
" Would you like to buy one? No, boyo, I'm just takin' the piss. No boms? Cross yer heart?"
" Ah...Cross my heart."
" Then off you go boyo. Be sure to have a Guiness. It's good for the langer."

Venice

It was on January 5, 2011 that I reached Venice and got to No. 13 0n Doc Campbell's list, The Doge's Palace!! And wouldn't you know it, The Bridge of Sighs was under repair, but they do an interesting thing here, they cover monuments under repair with tarps bearing a picture of the structure, ergo, the picture of a picture of the bridge. We made two trips into Venice, one in the evening to see the city by night, and a second the next day to do the touristy things like a gondola ride. Our group travelled in a convoy of gondolas with one carrying a singer and accordion player. He sang exactly what you would expect a Gondoliere to sing, Love Me Tender, Yesterday, and Rock Around the Clock. I think we were on the Ryan Air gondola service. Actually he sang Volare and several other popular Italian songs, in Italian, and only switched to the rock stuff after encouragement (tips) from the rowdy Aussies.
We visited the Rialto Bridge, complete with its advertising banners, and then roamed around the city's tiny back
streets looking for leather bargains. Here you can negotiate over price and some people bought leather coats and
jackets at 50% off. Debby found a nice coat for only $1150 but they offered a 30% discount. When Debby came to
we went for a coffee to revive her.

The tide was coming in as we visited St Mark's Square so there were "duck boards" for people to walk on so you wouldn't get wet. These are like low picnic tables and ran from the dock to the main door of the bascilica and The Palace. The flood made the Aussies homesick.

The Aussies are upset by news of the flooding in Queensland but are confident that the government will do a better
job than W did in New Orleans. None of them are directly affected but they all know somebody who is. They live in
places like Tooliranga, and Bungadoolie but do manage to laugh over names like Ecum Secum and Tatimigoosh. They
love the way I say "out" and "about" and think "suck me arse you ignorant bastard" is quaint.

San Marino

San Marino is a small independent republic located within Italy just south of Venice. It dates back to 300AD, long before tax havens and duty free shopping were invented. The city of San Marino, capital of San Marino, is located on the top of a mountain as you can see in these photos. We stayed in a very old hotel in the heart of the old city and had a pre dinner party with the Aussies on our balcony overlooking the Christmas lights of the walled town. As the Aussies would say, "It was migic!"

Note to Leeanne MacLeod-Archer - the streets of San Marino are lined with leather stores where you can buy Italian made shoes and boots for $30 - $1000 many with "come f*** me" heels too! They also sell bags and purses with the average price being $29!!!!!! Leather jackets and coats are even better deals.

Note to Greg Campbell - Arran Single Malt 17 years old - $21!!!!!!!! A 5 year old Glen Grant $10!!!! Wine $3-$6 litre!!!

In the last picture I am not trying to blow out the candle, I'm just hyperventilating after seeing the bill!

Hey Doc! What Do You Think of Me Now?

Doric



Ionic




Corinthian

Athens to San Marino

Jan 1 - we boarded the Superfast ferry at Patras, Greece for an overnight crossing to Ancona, Italy. The dock at Patras was crawling with illegal immigrants from Africa who try to stow away on busses and trucks making the crossing. Our bus driver caught one guy trying to crawl into the engine compartment of our bus and chased him away. Apparently if they are turned over to the police they are beaten then released. No social safety net here. As a matter of fact, the ecomomy of Greece is in such bad shape many restaurants have been forced to reduce their menus to just the basics as evidenced by the first photo.
In the afternoon of Jan 2 we arrived in San Marino, a small, independent country located within Italy. We are staying in the old town and it is an absolute delight. Santa is still around so I couldn't resist a photo op. Duty Free shopping is the order of the day with many leather and shoe shops.
We ended the day with a group dinner where I taught everyone the spoon trick.

A Day for the Doc in Athens

Dec 31 - we visited the Acropolis today which brings me within one of completing the Doc Campbell dozen plus one. It was awe inspiring to stand at a such a time honoured sight . The Acropolis is the hill on which the Parthenon stands as well as the Temple of Nike, the goddess of sneakers. The site is being restored to its previoud glory and should be finished by 2014. Now if those British pricks would just return the Elgin Marbles from the British Museum, the site would be wonderful.
We then visited the Temples of Zeus which provided an opportunity to see both the temple and the Acropolis at the same time.
The third photo is our Aussie friend, Liz whose daughter won a bronze medal in swimming at the 2004 Olympics in Athens and another bronze in shot put at the Sydney Olympics. The guide made a big fuss over this and got her to pose for pictures at the Olympic stadium.

As it was New Year's Eve we went out for a special dinner with our Aussie friends and were in bed by 11. We had a 6am wake up call so we oldtimers decided to have an early evening. The expected New Year's Eve fanfare in Athens did not materialize.

Olympus to Athena

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!I have been out of touch for a few days as internet service in Greece is spotty at best. We had a tour of the ancient site of the original Olympics at Olympia to start the day on Dec 30. The site was larger than I had expected and contained some very interesting ruins. I enjoyed walking the original stadium where athletes competed over 2000 years ago...and in the nude! They only had summer olympics in those days. The adjacent museum contains the marbles and statues from the site and were reassembled as best as could be interpreted.

We then travelled to Athens where we attended an evening tour of the Plaka district and saw the Acropolis by night. The Greeks have a thing for dogs. Stray dogs roam the streets and the people feed them so the amount of dog shit per square meter of sidewalk is astounding. We rode on a small train through the streets and were sometimes close enough to sidewalk cafes to take a beer from a table. Here is a shot of two of our new Aussie friends Liz and Ross from some unpronouncable place.


We ended the evening in a taverna where we dined and danced until the small hours. Debby learned a Greek dance from two women who were dining in the same restaurant and were kind enough to get up and show us how to do a proper Greek dance.


How to speak Aussie:

How do you say "egg"?

NZ - "igg"
Aus - " goog" ( it comes from a chook)
Dave - " ehg"

How do you say "I am full"?

NZ - " I'm fool."
Aus - " I'm chokkers."
Dave - " I'm stuffed."